How could a misbehaving teenager be treated?

How do you behave properly as a parent during puberty?

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Puberty is hardly a consistently easy time for any family. Many parents dread the fact that their child will soon reach puberty. How do you behave properly as a parent during puberty? What to Avoid What should you watch out for?


Before the question “How do you behave properly as a parent during puberty? “Can be answered, it must first be clarified what exactly puberty is. Puberty describes that Time in which children or adolescents reach sexual maturity. When exactly puberty begins, differs from person to person. In the past, however, this phase usually started much later than it does today. It is common that girl between 10 and 18 years of age go through puberty. At Boys this is usually the case between the ages of 12 and 21. This phase begins when a hormonal signal is sent to the rest of the body by the brain Sex hormones (Estrogen in girls, testosterone in boys) to produce and distribute more intensely.

Through this increased release of sex hormones the bodies of adolescents change. girl breasts, body hair grows, they menstruate, pelvis and hips widen, sweat glands develop, and they ovulate for the first time. Both Boys The genitals grow, the body hair increases here, too, the semen production begins, the sweat glands develop and you get into the voice break, in which your voice becomes deeper.

Particularly relevant for answering the question “How do you behave properly as a parent during puberty? “Are not just the physical changes, but there are also changes in the brain of young people. So some of them disappear Nerve connectionswhile new ones form. These innovations also take place in the frontal lobe, in which there is a kind of control center. In doing so, however, change not all affected brain regions at the same time or at the same pace. This is how the prefrontal cortex matures, the brain region with a kind control center for impulses and long-term planning, only as one of the last brain regions. That is why the behavior of young people often becomes particularly strongly influenced by the limbic systemwhich is related to our emotions.

The Amygdala (or almond kernel) seems to play an important role in this. Information from the outside is processed here. However, this processing is more likely emotionally and also spontaneously. Adults more often use the prefrontal cortex, which is not yet fully developed in pubescent people. Adolescents seem to process emotions differently than adults, what to impulsiveness can contribute.

In addition, the appears to be an important part of the limbic system during puberty Nucleus accumbens to be. This has dopamine receptors. If the messenger Dopamine is poured out, it comes to Happiness. Situations that can trigger this feeling of happiness are a meeting with friends, but also thrill situations in which risk is taken and the consumption of intoxicants. Because adolescents during puberty Less this Dopamine receptors seem to have as adults, they need larger resp. stronger triggersto achieve the desired feeling of happiness.

Given these changes in the appropriate areas of the brain, there are mood swings, forgetfulness, learning disabilities, unpredictability, impulsiveness and decision-making difficulties less surprising. But just as little is the question from parents "How do you behave as a parent correctly during puberty?" ". This question will be discussed later, first looking at the emotional changes in the young people.

In addition to the innovations in the body and brain, there is another emotional component added. For many teenagers, puberty is from Emotional chaos, crises of meaning and insecurities because they still have to find their place in the new adult world. The Self-confidence and the personality develop particularly strongly during this time. Also play Replacement processes and emancipation parents play an important role in finding their way around the world. This emancipation can also be experienced through violations of rules. Not infrequently, the need for thrills can also play a role here, which is why young people may find themselves in dangerous situations more often.

Also the tendency to stay awake for a long time can be associated with hormonal changes. Apparently changes in the melatonin system seem to be responsible for this. Getting up early for school then often leads to a lack of sleep, which in turn can lead to irritability.

The period of puberty is therefore anything but easy for adolescents either. The body, the brain and the hormonal balance of the adolescents are undergoing restructuring and everything seems to be one Major construction site to same. This probably explains many of the typical behaviors during puberty. But how do you behave properly as a parent during puberty?

Behavioral tips for parents

The question arises: “How do you behave as a parent correctly during puberty? “So this cannot be answered across the board. First of all, parents should understandwhat was described above, namely that the Puberty is associated with major changes in the brain and body. The changes in the brain take place staggered in time and the area of ​​rational thinking is completed last. So young people are a lot controlled more by their emotionsthan they are adults.

Also is puberty not easy for young people either. Developing self-esteem and identity can be difficult and lead to problems. But the process of separation from the parental home can also be difficult for both sides. So how do you as a parent behave properly during puberty?

First, parents should try to stay calm and also understanding show for their children. As I said, everything is in a kind of state of emergency with them and it can be difficult for them too. If parents remain calm and show understanding, it can be easier for the young people to develop or develop and to come to their parents even if they have difficulties. Because mental disorders can also manifest themselves during this time of change. Who, in contrast, with too much pressure approach the young people, risks alienationwhich, in turn, can affect the mental health of both parties.

In this context it should also be said that a excessive punishment system by the parents rather counterproductive can be. As already described, during puberty it is normal for adolescents to distance themselves from their parents and to cut them off. However, the more they punish each behavior of the adolescents with excessive punishments and the like, the more they have to exert themselves and rebelto achieve this demarcation. This can be expressed in a complete outburst, but also in an inner withdrawal of the young people.

Better than punishing any new behavior or trying things out on the part of the young people is to punish them To give spaceto try it out and still do it clear rules determine which are justifiable for both sides. Trying out new things is part of finding oneself; this is the only way for young people to find and develop their personality. Parents should try this too accompany and a open ear to have for their children if something does not go so well during these experiments. In any case, it is important that the young people have the opportunity to discover themselves and new things. If one of the established rules is broken, it should be clear from the start which one consequence it follows. This should then be enforced consistently in order not to undermine your own rules. Rules and consequences are therefore quite important, exaggerated punishments and restricting young people, on the other hand, are rather counterproductive.

However, in order to stay in contact with your own child, you should try to do that again and again Seeking conversation and showing interest. Conversations cannot be forced, but the parents should always make offers to talk. It can also be helpful here if Tell parents more about themselves, also talk about your own thoughts and opinions and talk about your youth.

Not a good method on the other hand, to lose contact with one's own child is his Disregard privacy. Searching the room or checking the child's cell phone is not a good idea, as it will lose trust and run the risk of alienation.


The question “How do you behave properly as a parent during puberty? “Is complex and not easy to answer. First of all, parents should understand that adolescents and their bodies are in one state of emergency where the body is a Major construction site equals. Once you have internalized this, it can be easier calmly to stay. Parents should try at this time too accompany and also to a certain extent checkwhat the kids do. It should clear rules give that both sides accept. If these are broken, there should be one clear consequence give, which is also known beforehand. The Giving balance between control and space Finding it is not easy and can only be found out individually. In any case, parents should always do the Contact and conversation search with your own child without being obtrusive. Because parents are still in this difficult phase very important for the young people and continue to serve as role models. Even when it is difficult, parents should always keep their children going through puberty more freedom give and always to him trust moreto support his personal development.

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About the author J Bohlken