How do I approach someone

How do I deal with it when someone comes too close to me?

Don't blame yourself

How do I tell someone in a friendly way that he or she is too close to me without offending him or her? Ehlers recommends: “You shouldn't take a thou position and accuse the other. Just like everyone does in their heads. The easiest and most painful method is to formulate an I-message. Be openly saying, 'I feel uncomfortable when I don't have enough space. I have a strong perception of how I feel about distance. ‘"

When I think about it more intensively, I can think of other situations in which people got too close to me. An acquaintance has a habit of putting her hand on the arm of her counterpart when she speaks. Especially when she wants confirmation. When I asked her about it, she said that she wasn't even aware of it. In fact, she was a little uncomfortable. Ehlers confirms this behavior to me: “Everyone is uncomfortable when asked about making someone feel uncomfortable. It is all the more important to take back the feeling of having done something wrong. "

In my case, in which I will conduct the interview later and do not want to be considered strange, Ehlers recommends: “For example, ask a motivational question with hidden praise in order to get out of the situation elegantly and without embarrassment. That will reduce the inhibitions in the interlocutor and increase his self-esteem. "

How I best react to the alarm of my sense of distance always depends on the situation. Clear words are therefore particularly important. If a colleague comes too close to me at work, then I could mention the professional environment in which I am currently. “Don't use metaphors, choose clear words that leave no room for interpretation. Because, as a rule, metaphors only start the disaster. "