Can emotionally physically heal sex

Fear of sex? This is how you overcome nervousness and the fear of failure

Fear of sex or sexual performance anxiety can have a lasting impact on the life of a couple and the relationship damage. The fear to fail usually reveals itself before sexual intercourse begins - often long before you even meet your partner. (Also Read: The 5 Biggest Mistakes Men Make During Sex)

The concept of fear immediately clarifies the nature of the problem: In general, fear is an alarm mechanism that causes the body is available to concentration and attention to increase so that a certain result can be achieved. So fear can also be a good thing - but now more and more often (for various and complex reasons) it is so developed that it is the cause of a number of disorders. (Also Read: How To Test Your Sexual Intelligence.)

The causes of performance anxiety

In the special case of performance anxiety, the classic case is the school or university exam. A little fear is beneficial, an excess can ruin everything. The same thing happens with Sexual intercourse: The fear of sexual performance often affects those who sex and the crucial act of penetration as one exam experience that they can expect a grade or promotion from. In fact, it is what characterizes achievement anxiety over other forms of anxiety: the importance that those who suffer from it place on the context of that moment, that is, on the concept of achievement. In the case of sex, an initial examination can be the physiological response of the erection be - which can be inhibited by fear.

How to deal with sexual performance anxiety

The first Antidote is therefore to defuse the situation: Make it clear to yourself that sex is not about the Olympic pole vault final in front of an audience. Because in the effort to make the performance unforgettable, there is a risk of preventive blockage.

Humor aside: In fact, the fear of performance is also known in sport, accompanied by the fear of victory (which also exists). Nor should a single game be idealized as a test for a trophy - least of all in the eyes of the person you're playing one with intimate relationship Has. Because that's what it's all about: one intimate encounter! (Also interesting: Forget normal sex - and make love again!)

Therefore, a first key to managing fear of sex is how you do it sexuality is lived. A sexual relationship must not become a matter of the head. In addition, one must consider the possibility that the first sexual encounters also serve to get to know each other in terms of expressing the other's sexuality, and that by expanding this knowledge they can become more mutually rewarding.

An aspect that is little discussed and complex: That Desire is not just created by physical attraction. It's a question of intellect, sensitivity, attitudes and gestures. The point is to reverse the factors: many men get caught up in the intoxication of beginning penetration, perhaps for fear of losing their erection or not getting it back in time, and lose it in the process. Seeing the sexual encounter as a test is the most misguided attitude because it focuses on the arrival, not the journey.

Compulsive thinking about penetration not only takes away the joy of the encounter, but also prevents one from perceiving all the sensations that can nourish desire and even prolong and intensify its effect. It is not a mechanical fact, nor is man a robot. It is a crucial step to understand that arousal and the same potential for penetration and pleasure arise in a place other than your own organ. After all, the sexual encounter has to be a pleasure, not a weightlifting exercise. That's what the gym is for, not that bed. (Also read: Relationship on the brink: With these problems, the partnership no longer has a future)

The importance of positive thoughts

Figuratively speaking, the erection begins in the brain: it is a result of arousal and you can only be aroused if you have positive thoughts. In this sense, fear is arousal's worst enemy. When one ponders the possibility of disaster failing to make it, the ghost becomes a terrifying giant crushing excitement; if one thinks of erection as a verification of a mechanism which, if the facts are proven, may not work, it prevents the psycho-emotional-physical involvement from which arousal, the fuel of erection, is drawn. As long as you do not have it, you cannot doubt that you will achieve it. The fear of not always being up to the task and the fear of disappointing the other are attitudes that prevent us from living the sexual experience with serenity. (Also interesting: with this simple tip you will become a god of love)

The original article “Ansia da prestazione sessuale, cause e rimedi” by Marco Perisse is onGQ.itpublished.