How can I become a subtle man
Men often flirt subtly
Is he flirting or is he just being nice? The flirtation signals of men are not always easy to interpret for women. Because experience has taught her that flirting usually begins with a clumsy pick-up line. Shy men in particular often express their interest in a much more subtle manner - and are overlooked by the world of women. Dating coach Horst Wenzel from the "Flirt University" in Essen explains which signs you should look out for.
More about finding a partner
"Basically, women interpret flirtation signals more correctly than men," says Wenzel. On the one hand, this is due to the fact that they are "socially more intelligent". You are more communicative, more familiar with emotions and know how to interpret them better.
But women also dine on their wealth of experience, explains the flirt expert. And he often says: Men flirt aggressively. Basically there is nothing wrong with that, says Wenzel. "But a lot of men just stare and stare," he explains. The next step is often a trite saying. "But this doesn't lead very far," says the dating coach. In contrast to the French, for example, German men usually lack charm, wit and humor. However, these experiences with "aggressive flirting" make it difficult for women to recognize signals from more reserved men types who do not correspond to this flirting pattern. But the expert knows: there are clear signs.
The direction of view reveals his interest
As with women, flirting with men usually begins with intense eye contact. "A deep look into the eyes is a very good indicator that a man is showing interest," explains the flirt coach. However, shy men often find it difficult to look openly. "Women should pay particular attention to the direction in which the gaze turns away. If the man looks down, this is an indication that he is a shy guy. But he is still interested." Only those who turn away from the woman completely show that they are not interested in flirting.
Look at the tips of your shoes
The founder of the dating school "Flirtuniversity" knows that the man's posture is just as important as eye contact. "A man who is flirting sits up straight and always facing the woman," he explains. Women should also look carefully at the man's shoes. "If the tips of the toes point in her direction, she can be sure that he is interested," says Wenzel.
Nervous gestures should flatter women
Gestures such as playing around on the jacket hem or scraping off beer bottle labels should also be viewed favorably by women, says the expert. Because they in no way testified to boredom. Rather, they proved that the man is insecure. And also signaled to the woman that she is probably the reason for his nervousness - and that he has his full attention.
She takes the first step, the second better
If the first attempts at flirting from a distance were successful, women should take the first step and approach the man, advises Wenzel. However, they should proceed differently than men. "If a woman speaks directly to the guy at the bar and compliments his appearance, she signals that she's more interested in a short adventure," explains the expert.
"Anyone who wants to build something long-term, on the other hand, should communicate interest without being too direct." A simple "hello" is usually enough. The rest can be left to the men. Since these are still classic: "When it comes to sex and flirting, most men would like to take the lead. That has probably not changed in the last few decades."
An exaggerated laugh reveals that this man is interested
At the latest in a conversation, women could very well determine whether a man is really interested. A clear sign of this is when a man keeps asking questions in between, says the flirt coach: "When she talks about her vacation and he asks questions - regardless of how trivial they are like 'How long have you been there' - shows that: I am interested in your story. I am interested in you ". If he then laughs too, although the punch line of her story wasn't funny at all, she can be sure: This man likes me.
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