Why does my friend feel so insecure
Unsure of him? Then ask yourself these 5 questions
Everyone needs it to be happy: love. Sometimes it hits us completely unexpectedly, sometimes it is not returned and sometimes we are in love to the bone. Love and relationships are a complicated topic - especially when you think you've finally found the one and are then no longer so sure. Here you can find out how to find out whether your insecurity is justified or not.
Go or stay?
What would love be without the constant ups and downs of feelings? Especially when the intoxication of being in love has subsided and everyday life returns to the relationship life, doubts can arise: is he the right one at all? And then the burning question: Is it really love at all or is it just habit? If you are unsure about your relationship, here are five questions to answer.
# 1 Am I comparing my relationship too much with others?
Do you always feel like you deserve better in your relationship? If you tell yourself that others have been more lucky in choosing a partner and that you are constantly comparing yourself to others, then you are doing yourself no good. And not only that, if you secretly regret choosing your partner, it will damage your relationship as well. Because of the constant negative comparisons, it can happen that you distance yourself from your partner inwardly and no longer register the feelings of your loved one. If you catch yourself comparing your relationship, you should look more often at the positive aspects of your loved one. Because: “The grass is always greener on the other side”.
# 2 Does your partner constantly do something that bothers you?
On your first date, you found his way of speaking great and kind of amusing. In the meantime, however, you still get on your nerves when he talks to you in the evening, when you just want to relax with a glass of wine with him after a stressful day. Often it happens quite unexpectedly, from one day to the next. The partner is just annoying. What could be behind it: An unresolved conflict. Because if something is bothering you, it has something to do with you. And that's exactly what you should question. And if you are thinking about what you would like to change about your partner, you should always make it clear to yourself: If you don't want your loved one to change you, you should do the same thing the other way round.
# 3 Is the insecurity coming from me or my partner?
Nothing destroys love as quickly and effectively as criticizing the other. Because nothing devalues the behavior of the other so much and challenges him to question his principles and values as rejection. This can be found directly, in passive-aggressive behavior or in icy silence. And as subtle as it may seem, it always triggers either anger or a reaction of defiance. Neither of these things is conducive to a happy relationship. If your partner's constant criticism is dragging your self-esteem, then it's time to talk to each other about the relationship.
# 4 Is there suspicion behind my insecurity?
With his song "Suspicious Minds" Elvis was more than right. Because a relationship just doesn't work if you distrust the other. Nothing poisons love more than suspicion and doubt. Do you constantly fear that your partner might do something that will harm you, betray you, or lie to you? Are you increasingly looking for evidence why your loved one has not earned your trust? Then you should try not to overlook his good points and trust him more. In a functioning relationship, both trust each other and give the other a leap of faith.
# 5 Do I feel constricted?
If you are freshly in love, you would like to see each other every day. But if at some point everything revolves around the other person and you spend all of your free time and weekends together, you should question yourself. Because too much closeness can damage a relationship, but too much distance can also. Many withdraw when they feel constrained or pressured by their partner. If that's the case for you, a little distance is sometimes good. If you've always wondered how to find the perfect balance between closeness and distance, you'll find out from us.
Insecurity in a relationship feels like the ground is suddenly shaking beneath your feet. There is a great temptation to simply withdraw and part. If you should consider that, it is definitely advisable to question yourself beforehand, to assess the situation realistically and to break away from exaggerated, romantic ideals. Have you ever felt insecure in your relationship and thought about breaking up? We look forward to your experiences on the topic, please tell us about it in the comments.
Image sources: iStock / weerapatklatumrong, iStock / gmast3r, iStock / RyanKing999, iStock / Siphotography
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