Who's the best joke
90 good jokes for every type of humor
Really good jokes are not easy to find as every humor is slightly different. That's why we've put together a wealth of jokes for every taste. Among our 90 jokes there are guaranteed to be good jokes for you. Pass them on or mail them and make friends and relatives laugh.
Are you more of the type who laughs at dull, flat jokes? Do you like it when the punch line drags on in long jokes? Or are you more of the sarcastic type? Find out what kind of humor you have and increase your chances of finding good jokes for yourself.
Why we tell jokes
Why we tell jokes
Jokes are short stories that are supposed to make us laugh through an unexpected punch line or a sudden understanding (‘Aha moment’). As a rule, they address topics that should be taken seriously through humor. In this way, criticism can be expressed without being specific. Jokes move in the gray areas of criticism and change their effect depending on who they are told to. What is funny for some goes too far for others.
As a child, it's great to laugh at jokes. As an adult, the need for jokes decreases. The child's worldview made it possible to laugh at the whole world. As an adult, this turns out to be a little more difficult due to social pressure. Reason prevents the fun of uninhibited utterances. With luck, a grinning head shake will result.
Nevertheless, well-known jokes carry on and are passed on for amusement. They are short and easy to remember. There are also many harmless jokes, such as joke questions with puns (“What is bouncing through the forest and is warm? - A fireplace.”). So jokes have a social function. They allow us to laugh or make someone else laugh at the touch of a button.
What are actually good jokes?
What are actually good jokes?
Good jokes are difficult to define because every humor is different. Some love dull jokes, others laugh at black humor and still others have a weakness for puns. Some don't like jokes at all, but rather laugh at sarcasm and situational comedy. Jokes with a salary are generally considered to be good jokes ’. For them, a certain background knowledge and general education is required, which makes them a bit more exclusive than flat jokes, for example. But since everyone has a different kind of humor, we have created a selection for you in which there is something for everyone.
Laughter is healthy: 90 good jokes for every type of humor
Telling jokes - no matter how bad they are - usually makes us laugh. Laughter releases endorphins and is good for our body. Researchers at Oxford University found that fifteen minutes of fun can reduce the sensitivity to pain caused by the happiness hormone by a tenth.
Laughing heartily strengthens your defenses and even burns 50 calories in 10 minutes. There are even several studies that try to prove that people who laugh more, live longer. But not only hearty laughter is good for us. A smile also makes us happy, no matter how small. It relaxes us and reduces our stress levels. So take a look at the following jokes and laugh for what it takes.
Good sarcastic jokes
Sarcasm is often mistaken for irony. On the outside, irony says the opposite of what is actually meant. There is a semantic shift and so the words are no longer taken literally, but receive a new, opposite meaning. Irony is used either to protect the speaker or to exaggerate what he is saying. An example best illustrates what irony can do:
A young man orders from a delivery service and, contrary to his expectations, receives a huge portion. To emphasize how exaggerated this portion is, he says, "Wow, the portion is really small."
Sarcasm often uses irony to express criticism, ridicule, or satire. It relates more to the social context. Characteristic here are a special tone of voice in combination with a sharp remark in the respective context. An example:
A worker sits on a bench and rests instead of working. His boss walks past him and says, "Don't overwork."
Sarcastic jokes are rather rare, as sarcastic utterances usually occur in a random context and are part of what is known as situation comedy. Something funny arises at a specific moment and that is difficult to reproduce outside of this situation. Usually it also loses its comical effect when played back. When trying to reproduce situation comedy, it usually comes down to statements like: "Oh, you should have been there." Or "In real life it was much funnier."
- I don't have the time or the colored pencils to explain this to you right now.
- Tolerance means: apologizing for your own mistakes. Genius means: not noticing it.
- Some pleasure consists of withholding it from others.
- It's only when you've run a mile in someone else's shoes that you know what a fool he is.
- Whoever has no goal in life can at least disrupt the progress of others.
- You only notice how happy you were on land when the ship goes down.
- Do you know how to make God laugh? Tell him your plans.
- If the only thing missing is the tent, the circus would be complete here.
- Sometimes my sarcasm level is so high that I don't even know if I'm serious or not.
- Marry or don't marry, you will regret both.
- I bought a 3 meter charging cable. You also want to get out and experience something.
- Look over there, over there on the right. - Yeah, what's there? - That's where the fun stops.
- Exercising would be so much more fulfilling if the calories screamed as they burned off.
- I don't need alcohol or drugs. It's enough if I get up too quickly.
- "Remove make-up" - or as I like to say: reset your face to the factory settings.
Good puns and flat jokes
Puns and flat jokes
Classic flat jokes are basically just puns. They are called puns and are relatively popular because they are often harmless. You can tell it to anyone without creating a bad mood. The only risk: The joke is so bad that it makes you look stupid for telling it. But that is fine with most joke-tellers. After all, you should be able to laugh at yourself. In any case, at least a smile is guaranteed with flat jokes. Either because the listener actually likes the joke or because it is so bad that you just have to laugh about it. We have put together some classic word games for you. You can find even more word games in the next category Joke Questions ’.
- Have you used my deodorant again? - I am Robin Hood. I steal it and distribute it among the poor.
- On the meadow: Sheep to the lawnmower: "Mäh!"
Says the lawnmower: "You have nothing to tell me!"
- No matter how well you sleep, Albert sleeps like Einstein.
- Waking up in bed with shoes on after a long night of partying - Puss in Boots.
- Tried to tell a redhead jokes about redheads yesterday. He didn't think it was that funny and then Ginger.
- Since I'm always hungry, I've now wrapped spaghetti around the alarm clock. So I finally eat around the clock.
- No matter how full you are, Rudi was Völler.
- I feel like the Weimar Republic. My condition could be better.
- My girlfriend comes home from a party with a hot dog. I say I was worried about her. She smeared mustard on my face and asks: "Are you pacified now?"
- I called Spiderman but he had no network.
- I dropped my watch. But I can't pick it up. I have no copyright.
- No matter how many CDs you have, Carl Benz had Mercedes.
- I never used to understand why it was called the St. Andrew's Cross. I know today. It signals: STOP STOP! Thanks to RTL2.
- Heard Bushido wants to buy AirBerlin. The new airline will then be called Airsguterjunge.
- No matter how close you are, Goethe was a poet.
- Two German teachers meet on the beach. "Genitive into the water!" - "Why, is it dative?"
- I called the hotel but there was no reception.
- I have agreed with the plant to water it only once a month. She agreed to it.
- A programmer is asked by his wife: “Please go to the store and buy a loaf of bread. If the eggs have, bring a dozen. ”The programmer comes back with 12 loaves of bread.
- My dentist said I needed a crown. Finally someone who understands me.
Good joke questions
Joke questions usually consist of puns that are difficult to guess. It is all the more fun when the answer is surprising. Below are some mild joke questions that don't fall into the black humor category. You can tell friends and relatives about most of them without offending. However, joke questions can only be asked once per person. As short as they are, you can easily remember them and thus your punchline. It's good that there are so many joke questions that you can try out all of them. Check out more short jokes here.
- What is the deer's first name? - potato mash
- What's black and white and sitting on the swing? - A swenguin.
- What's green and knocking on the door? - A lettuce salad.
- What do you call a light mammoth? - Hellmut.
- What wears a tailcoat and helps with the household? - A servant schnitzel.
- What's more fluid than water? - Homework is superfluous.
- What is purple and is at the front of the church? - A pious berry.
- What stands out and what is fun about it? - A sadist.
- What is healthy and strong and plays the offended? - A poultry bread.
- What happens if you drink cola and beer at the same time? - You colaborate.
- What does the AfD have against the Internet? - There are too many links.
- What's brown and driving down a snowy slope? - A snow bread.
- What do bosses drink? - Tap water.
- What do you call rabbits in the gym? - Pumpernickel.
- What's big, gray and on the phone from Africa? - A telephone.
Longer good jokes
Longer good jokes
Many good jokes only get really good because they work a little longer towards a funny punchline. When a joke is cleverly structured, the punch line is completely unexpected and a laugh is guaranteed. For this reason we have put together some longer jokes for you to read or send. Memorizing such a joke would probably be too much to ask. Read through the jokes, choose the one you find the funniest and pass it on to friends and relatives. If you want to save yourself the hassle and time of typing, you can simply record your favorite joke and send it in a voicemail on WhatsApp or Facebook. You can find more laughing jokes here.
- An elderly couple goes to a fast food restaurant, where they both share a hamburger and a portion of french fries fairly. A truck driver feels sorry for them and offers to buy the woman her own meal. "No thanks," says the husband. "We share everything."
The truck driver offers the woman another meal because she has not yet eaten a bite. "She will still eat," the husband assures him. "We'll share everything." "Then why aren't you eating yet?" The truck driver asks the woman.
Then she annoyed: "Because I'm waiting for my teeth!"
- A starlet sits next to a lawyer during a long-haul flight. She desperately wants to keep her beauty sleep, but the lawyer keeps her from sleeping. "Let's play a general knowledge game," he suggests. The starlet ignores him. "We're making it a little more interesting," he says. “If I give a wrong answer, I'll pay you $ 50. If you answer wrong, you owe me five dollars. "
She agrees. The lawyer begins. "What is the distance between the earth and the moon?"
The starlet gives the lawyer five dollars. Then it's her turn. "What goes up the mountain on three legs and comes down on four legs?" The lawyer has no idea. He searches the Internet, flips through his pocket encyclopedia and sends an SMS to every scientist in his address book. Without success. Wakes up hours later he the starlet, gives her $ 50 and asks, "So what is it?"
Without a word, she gives him five dollars, turns and goes back to sleep.
- After a quick chase, the police stop Vlad. "I didn't have that much fun all day," says the policeman. "If you have a good excuse, we'll leave the ticket."
"Three weeks ago my wife left me because of a policeman," explains Vlad. "And when I saw your car coming, I was afraid you were going to bring her back."
- A man comes to the fortune teller and sits down in front of the crystal ball. "I see you are the father of two children," says the fortune teller.
"YOU believe that!" He replies. "I have three children."
The fortune teller smiles and replies: "YOU believe that!"
- To celebrate their 30th wedding anniversary, Hannu and his wife are planning a trip to the hotel where they once spent their honeymoon. Everything should be perfect. Hannu leaves a day early to prepare everything.
At night he emails his wife but enters a wrong address and the message instead ends up with the widow of a recently deceased pastor.
The next morning, the widow's son finds his mother passed out in front of her computer. It says: “My dearest wife, I have just arrived. Everything is prepared for your arrival tomorrow. I hope your trip will be as pleasant as mine. P.S .: It's very hot here! "
- The Indians in a remote reservation go to their new chief and ask how cold the next winter will be. Since he never learned the secret arts of his ancestors, he orders his brothers to collect firewood, but also calls the weather service and asks: "How cold will winter be?" "Very cold," is the answer. The chief returns to his tribal brothers and tells them to collect more firewood.
A week later he calls again: "Are you sure that winter will be very cold?" "Absolutely sure." The chief orders his tribal brothers to collect more firewood. A week later he calls again. "Are you still sure?" "Yes, it will be the coldest winter in living memory."
"How do you know that exactly?" "Because the Indians collect firewood like crazy!"
- Stanislav is dying, his loved ones are with him. Before the last hour strikes, he whispers:
“I have to confess something to you. Before I got married, I owned everything a man could want. Fast cars, pretty girls, and loads of money. But a good friend warned me, 'Get married and have a family. Otherwise, at the hour of your death, nobody will be there to hand you a glass of water if you want something to drink. ‘I followed his advice. Instead of the girls, I now had a wife and instead of beer, baby food. I sold my Ferrari and invested money in my children's studies. Now I'm lying here, and should I tell you something? "
"I'm not thirsty at all!"
- As they leave the courthouse, the lawyer asks his grim-looking client: “Zoran, what's going on? You have just been acquitted. "
“Yes, but now I'm really in a bind. I've just rented my apartment for three years. "
- A resident of Stockholm goes to the countryside to hunt ducks. When he sees a duck, he aims and shoots. But the bird falls into a farmer's yard, and he doesn't pull out the prey. "That's my bird," the townsperson insists on his rights.
The farmer suggests settling the dispute with a kick in the abdomen, as is customary in the country. "If you don't scream less, you get the bird." The townspeople agrees. The farmer stretches back and lands a huge kick in the man's soft tissues. He collapses and remains on the ground for 20 minutes. When he can get up again, he gasps: "Okay, now it's my turn."
"No," says the farmer as he leaves. "Here, take the duck."
- Doctor: "Did you take my advice and sleep with the window open?"
"Has your asthma gone?"
"No. But my watch, my TV, my iPod and my laptop. "
Good blonde jokes
There are numerous blonde jokes out there, all of which are based on one assumption: blondes are stupid and naive. The exact origin of this type of joke is unknown. But the prejudice that blonde women are less intelligent is probably due to their cinematic portrayal. Since blonde women were considered the ideal of beauty for a certain time, they found themselves in many romantic comedies in which they lived up to the cliché. Little emancipated, confused, naive, dramatic - a perfect template for jokes. Here you will find more guaranteed funny jokes.
- A blonde orders a pizza. The waiter asks if he should divide them into 6 or 12 pieces. "6 please. I could never eat 12. "
- An American, a Russian and a blonde are talking. The American brags: "We were the first to land on the moon."
Then the Russian: "And we were the first in space!"
Says the blonde: "We'll be the first to land on the sun for that!"
The American and the Russian laugh.
Finally, the Russian says: “You can't land on the sun. You burn up. "
Then the blonde: “We're not stupid! We will fly in the night! "
- One blonde asks the other:
"What do you mean, what is further away, London or the moon?"
Says the other:
"Halloooooooo, do you see London from here ?!"
- "But her profile leaves a lot to be desired," says the policeman to the young blonde in the sports car.
"Pf`", she replies snippily.
"I wouldn't call you a beauty either!"
- A young brunette goes to the doctor. "Doctor, wherever I touch my body it hurts."
“Impossible,” says the doctor.
Then the brunette takes her index finger, presses it against her elbow and screams. She presses him against the knee and screams again. Then on her stomach and here too she screams.
Then the doctor: "You are not really a brunette, are you?"
"No, actually I'm blonde!"
"I thought so," says the doctor, "because your finger is broken ..."
- The blonde calls excitedly into the phone: “It's burning, it's burning! Please do it quickly! "
The firefighter at the other end: "How do we get to you?"
The blonde: "Yeah, don't you have those big red cars anymore?"
- What happens when a blonde leans against a tree The tree falls over!
Why? The wiser gives in!
- A blonde stands crying on the sidewalk.
"Why do you cry?"
"My dog is gone and can't go home."
“I'll come with you and we'll phone around the neighborhood so we can find him. And, where do you live?"
"Only my dog knows that."
- Why is a blonde happy when she can finish a puzzle in 4 months?
Because the package says 3 - 4 years.
- A blonde rammed another vehicle with her car.
The driver yells: “You stupid chicken! Did you even take a driving test? ”The blonde hisses back:“ Definitely more often than you! ”
Good chuck norris jokes
Chuck Norris jokes
Chuck Norris is an actor best known for his action films. Since his roles were often accompanied by extreme physical superiority and he has mastered several martial arts in his private life, the so-called "Chuck Norris Facts" arose. They make fun of his supernatural abilities and often contain puns. These can usually be better understood in written form. So you can send them on WhatsApp, Facebook and Co. Keep in mind that not everyone has the same sense of humor as you. So only send Chuck Norris jokes to someone you are sure they share that kind of humor. Check out many more Chuck Norris jokes here.
- Chuck Norris makes onions cry.
- Chuck Norris achieves his bachelor's degree under the standard period of study.
- The earth only turns because Chuck Norris gave it a roundhouse kick.
- Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.
- Chuck Norris can stand faster than others can run.
- Time is running out to escape Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris is allowed to speak to the bus driver while driving.
- If Google can't find something, Chuck Norris asks. (Marc Kue)
- Chuck Norris sneezes with his eyes open.
- Chuck Norris eats his Knoppers at nine in the morning in Germany.
Good your mother jokes
As with many jokes, your-mother jokes (called "Yo momma jokes" in the US) are about a critical topic. Insulting someone else's mother is a verbal blow in most countries - and has been for many years: Sayings about “your mother / mudder / mudda” are over 3,500 years old.
They belong to the category of blunt and often shallow jokes. Many detest them, but many also love them. In the Harlem Renaissance (USA), the mother insults became real battles that were later jokingly integrated into the media. Your mother jokes are primarily intended to demonstrate reparteeism. We have put together some of the best known for you. You can find even more your mother jokes here.
- Your mother works at IKEA as lowest drawer.
- Your father calls your mother “you-know-who”.
- Your mother pours Actimel on the computer to protect it against viruses.
- Your mother applied to be Santa Claus at Coca Cola.
- Your mother is fighting with ducks in the park for the last crumbs of bread.
- Google Earth called, your mother is in the picture.
- If your mother sneezes, everyone knows what Tokio Hotel was singing about.
- Your mother thinks sustainably and drinks the leftovers from the bottles at the deposit machine.
- The only one who still laughs at your mother jokes is your father.
- Your mother pulls catapults to Gondor.
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