What is a Hindu definition of marriage

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India's love culture is rich in mythological and literary writings, diverse and ambivalent in their conceptions and meanings. It covers a period from the great epics around 500 BC through the classical period to contemporary literature, music and art. The presence of the mythological-religious traditions in everyday social life influences the current values, which also structure the emotional and especially the love life of many Hindus. In this article I would like to introduce the mythological foundations of Hindu ideas about extramarital love relationships and their reception in everyday social life. [1]

A few comments are necessary in advance. Related to love is the cosmological idea of ​​redemption from the cycle of births (moksha/mukti), which pervades the Hindu-religious context. Love was and is always conceived in Hinduism as a way to salvation. Hinduism offers a step model of love. Two ideals or basic attitudes of love can be distinguished: conjugal love and extramarital love. These were worked out in the Vaishnava tradition, whose followers are the god Vishnu or his avatar (divine incarnation) Worship Rama or Krishna as supreme god. The ideals of conjugal love are in the Ramayana, an epic about 200 BC. To 200 AD in the conception of kama described. The ideals of extra-marital love were established in the Krishna story in the Bhagavata Purana, and later in Gitagovinda, a dramatic and lyrical poem from the 12th century, with the conception of prema described and elaborated in the subsequent Vaishnava philosophy. Both forms of love should ideally lead to redemption. Kama or conjugal love describes the conventional way of moral action in the social world and postulates unconditional devotion to the spouse and family, bound to the norms and rules of society. Prema or extra-marital love negates social conventions and is true and higher valued love in selfless devotion to God. The model for this devotion is socially illegitimate extra-marital love between Radha and Krishna.

With both conceptions, patterns of understanding for love are given, which people in today's India are familiar with. Prema is a model for the search for God. But is prema also a role model for love relationships between men and women that contradict social norms? To understand the ideas of love in India, the meanings of conjugal love should first be briefly explained.

1. The social conventions of love

Although the vast majority of marriages nowadays in Hindu India are arranged by the parents, Hindu marriage is understood as a community of love. From a western point of view, this seems to be a contradiction in terms. Western marriage is preceded by love, in India it should be the other way around according to the norms - love develops in marriage. The practice of arranged marriages is based on different ideas. It is essential that the spouses do not see themselves as individuals, autonomous and only responsible for themselves, but that both families of the spouses connect through marriage, which has social consequences. Marriage takes place in the interest of the social reference group, which applies to the preservation of family honor, the relative purity of the caste, affinal relationships, the status of the family, etc. [2] For these reasons, the choice of marriage partner is so crucial that it should not be left to the young (inexperienced) people. In addition, the social structures of Hindu society regulate the demarcation between boys and girls in public areas such as school, sport and leisure activities and also in the private area of ​​the family.

However, the arrangement of marriage does not conflict with love in marriage; many Hindus are convinced that precisely because of this, love can develop and last. Love is a central social issue before, in and beyond marriage. The excellent value of love in marriage is devotion. However, the contents of this value differ for men and women. The young wife acquires the love of her entrusted husband and family-in-law through her modesty, loyalty and self-sacrificing, persistent service. The husband is not expected to have the same level of humility, loyalty, and service. His duties are primarily related to the economic well-being and security of the entire family (including the wife). She serves him, he serves the family. In order to fulfill their family roles within the extended family, both spouses can expect sustained and generous affection from the family and the wife can also expect her economic security.

These ideals are symbolized in mythology by Rama and Sita in Ramayana, described with the conception kama. The Ramayana tells the heroic story of Rama, a king's son and the unconditional devotion of his wife Sita, who is not afraid of death herself if this could save her husband's life. The Ramayana is not just any myth, but the myth that people refer to when talking about the ideal marriage. Of course, that doesn't mean that all people strive for these ideals.

The social reality of love within marriage changes these ideals into many variations. But the meaning of the ideals remains undisputed by the ongoing reception of the texts in everyday social life. At the same time, this ideal of unconditional surrender is not the highest form of love. Love in marriage should ideally be unconditional and selfless, but it can never be devoid of expectation. Even if the unconditional devotion of the wife to her husband and his family is not answered to the same extent, she can still expect her economic and physical security and being looked after in the family in return. This makes them ideally inferior to extramarital love. The Vaishnava philosophy postulates a hierarchy of love that is oriented towards salvation. Kama or conjugal love is limited by expectations and therefore prema or subordinate to extramarital love. True love is love that disregards conventions, only aims at the beloved and only for love's sake.

Hindus who describe themselves as happily married are often of the opinion that true love can only be realized beyond marriage - and thus beyond central social norms. What exactly is meant by that? Or to put it another way, are queer connections in the sense of non-normative relationships an expression of true love? The answer is a clear no. But their complexity - especially with a view to different ideas inside and outside the social world - will now be discussed here.

2. Love beyond marital boundaries

2.1 The ideal

The ideal of extra-marital love is described in the story of Krishna and Radha. An example of this is the Gitagovinda, a poem dedicated to the worship of Krishna as God. The Gitagovinda describes the passionate love between Krishna and the shepherdess Radha. The literary and religious texts, plays, music, art and film inspired by him extend to the present day. The Krishna story is well known and loved in India.

In the Gitagovinda, Radha is a married shepherdess who is so drawn to the grace of the youthful Krishna that she risks her marriage, social status, and emotional and economic security in order to have her longing for Krishna fulfilled. The entire action takes place outside of social boundaries. Radha crosses the nocturnal forest to get to her rendezvous with her lover. But to her surprise, she finds Krishna in an erotic dance with the other shepherd women in the village. This sight arouses their jealousy, but at the same time increases their desire and arouses their pride. She wants Krishna for herself alone.

The poem describes the emotional states and fantasies that Radha goes through in her unfulfilled desire for Krishna. Krishna alternately turns to her and then turns away from her. The theme of the Gitagovinda is the changing states of separation and union and Radha's growing feelings of jealousy, separation pain, passionate attraction and desire. Their jealousy in times of separation increases their desire, passion and longing for Krishna.

The longing of the Radha, which nourishes passion, becomes the measure of love in the Vaishnava theory [3], with the following justification. The longing arises and intensifies in the phases of separation, which are inevitable due to the social illegitimacy of this relationship. The inevitable separations make the relationship insecure and uncontrollable for the partner. The meetings are unpredictable and every time there is a fear that this meeting could be the last. The social illegitimacy of this relationship also harbors, at least for Radha, the risk of losing social respect and ultimately material prosperity. In this respect, in contrast to conjugal love, as symbolized by Sita, such a love harbors risks. At the same time, however, it is free from all marital expectations that the partners can place on each other in the socially standardized marital context. Radha is taken care of by her husband, but puts this social and material security at risk for Krishna. She has no conjugal expectations of Krishna, only longs for his love in return.

Radha's love is interpreted as self and unconditional surrender to Krishna. Her devotion is unconditional to a greater extent than that of the Sita, because in the fulfillment of her devotion she cannot expect social security. It is a love that has no self-interest, but sees the greatest happiness in the happiness of the beloved. It is given of one's own free will and has as its goal not one's own pleasure, but only wants to contribute to Krishna's pleasure, the pleasure of the beloved object. The term for this love is prema.

For these reasons, Radha's love for Krishna (prema) in the Vaishnava tradition as the real Considered love. As such, he takes it bhakti[4]-Path as a model for the search for redemption. In theory, there are two types of salvation goal parakiya(not your own)-Differentiated women: those married to another man (parodha) and the unmarried (kanyaka). Of these two, the love of a married woman is considered more appropriate as a model for salvation due to the fact that love has more to lose from socially illegitimate love. Radha is one parodha-parakiya Woman and is thus the ultimate role model for the ascetic seeking redemption bhakti-Tradition. In search of salvation he must bhaktawho wants to reach the highest state, take the feminine role of Radha in devotion to Krishna. [5] This applies to both male and female bhakta equally. With the Vaishnava giving the Radha-Krishna relationship the highest priority, erotic love and the sexual impulse of man are given an important place in the search for redemption. Unlike other Hindu traditions of salvation, the body and senses must be in bhakti not to be denied, but here the ability to passion and the longing for union should be used as the driving force for salvation. The earthly sex does not play a role for the devotion to God, only the longing counts. The only condition, however, is to direct human desires to God so that they can be purified [6] and transformed into the highest state of consciousness.

In this way, religion not only keeps a space for socially illegitimate love, but even propagates it as the highest form of selfless devotion. However, the context change is necessary for this. The worshiper must leave the social world and its bonds and devote himself entirely to the search for God or salvation. Only here in the non-worldly sphere of life of the ascetics does religious morality transcend secular-social morality. Socially illegitimate love is the gate; human emotionality is the beginning of the search for redemption. By aligning fully with God, the emotion is transformed into a supernatural experience of love. This highest form of love is associated with the term prema, but also as mahabhava designated. According to the Vaishnava philosophy, it is no longer an emotion, but a state of mind or consciousness, and indeed the highest possible for a person.

2.2 Everyday social life

The illegitimacy of extramarital love exposes it to the danger of being sanctioned in everyday social life. Here the danger for women is greater because of the special role that they and their purity play for the reputation of the family and, depending on it, for their social relationships. Women are usually punished more severely than men for illegitimate love relationships. However, social sanctions do not prevent people from entering into extramarital romantic relationships of one kind or another.

Let us first consider premarital love. Premarital love can be legitimized by marriage if the parents of the person concerned agree. [7] In this case, premarital sexual contact, which is forbidden at least for women, would not cause any further problems. Often, however, a premarital love affair, when discovered and not approved by parents, is ended by arranging marriage with a desirable partner.

In his ethnography, Steven M. Parish [8] reports, for example, of a man who gave his son the consent to marry a woman from a lower caste out of love. Since the marriage, the family has been avoided by the neighbors. She is thus largely excluded from the social coexistence of her wider environment. Out of love for his son and out of affection for the girl, the father decided to bear the social consequences. Despite this inconvenience, he does not regret his decision. In this case, the man has given his feelings about his son and his wife priority over his social obligation to marry the son to a woman of his own caste.

Love relationships between young people legitimized by marriage seem to be the exception rather than the rule. Of 49 men interviewed in Benares (Uttar Pradesh) [9], only two men reported premarital love relationships that were legitimized by marriage. Both endeavored to legitimize their love through action strategies such as obtaining parental consent, a rule-based marriage and the subsequent embedding of the marriage in the extended family structures as an arranged marriage. While the one marriage took place between two people from the same Brahman sub-caste, with regard to the legitimacy of the second case it is noteworthy that the man belonged to a Vaishya caste and the woman to a Brahman caste. This difference in status, in which the woman had the higher status, delayed the marriage by a few years because of the increased difficulty in justifying this marriage, which was in itself illegal. Both men finally got the consent of their parents, as well as that of the parents of their lover, and performed the marriage with the classic ritual. As a result, the "love marriage" could be legitimized as an arranged marriage in both cases and the social network of the families concerned could be preserved.

The examples mentioned come from urban contexts. On the basis of the ethnographies that I have viewed [10], no representative statements can be made about the caste-specific or class-specific distribution of premarital love relationships. It becomes clear in all descriptions that the people in most cases strive to fit their love into the conventional framework of family and other social relationships. The men quoted by Derné insist that they did not have premarital sexual contacts. They also report that they and their wives strive to base their conjugal life after marriage on moral values ​​that generally regulate conjugal life. In this respect, the premarital love between people does not contradict the rules and norms, but is fitted into them afterwards. Accordingly, the premarital love relationship is not understood as an exclusive relationship between two individuals, but is set in relation to the other family members and social normativity. The moral values ​​on which conjugal love is based are carried over to premarital love. Couples in love do not think and act as a closed unit, but as people integrated into a social network and strive for a socially recognized marriage.To that extent, premarital love relationships are based on the same expectations, role ideas and ideas about later family coexistence as Hindus have for and for conjugal love. As a result, love marriages and the premarital love that preceded them, as far as can be seen from the examples mentioned, do not contradict the moral values ​​that structure conjugal love.

An extra-marital love relationship of the second type, i.e. between two people, one or both of whom are married, causes greater difficulties in legitimizing. Such a love relationship, provided it is accompanied by sexual encounters, can, but does not have to, have harsher social consequences for the persons and their families due to their social illegitimacy if it is discovered. Sanctions range from loss of respect and social contempt to exclusion from the family, which at the same time means exclusion from all existing social relationships. Since a love relationship that violates the rules of marriage damages the reputation of the entire family, the exclusion of a person who acts in this way is the most effective way of restoring the family's social respect. The alternative courses of action are also diverse in this respect. Unfortunately, the ethnographies hardly give any examples of this form of norm violation.

Manisha Roy [11] describes only one example of such a love affair. In this case of a seemingly modern adaptation of the Radha myth, a woman entered into a sexual relationship with her husband's younger brother, who was unmarried at the time of the love affair. The meeting place was the tea plantation on which the woman lived with her husband and his mother. The rather closed, hard-working husband hardly took time for his wife. His younger brother, who came back from college from England, was open-minded and cheerful. Because he had little to do on the plantation, he spent a lot of time with his brother's lonely wife. Both felt strongly drawn to each other. When her husband and his mother were in Calcutta, they both had sexual encounters. The woman reports that for the first time in her life she discovered that sexual intercourse can make you happy. She realized that she did not love her husband (which she had believed up to that point), but his brother. She describes how her lover stimulated something in her that had never existed between her husband and her. Her lover treated her as equals and wanted her to treat her as such. He didn't let her look up at him like a husband. This impressed her. She describes this love affair as the happiest time of her life. At the same time, she felt guilty and wanted to end the relationship. But the attraction between them was so strong that she let the affair go.

The motivation and the sustaining power of this love relationship was the individual attraction that both people exerted on each other due to their personal uniqueness. The lover had brought the idea of ​​an "equal" partnership with him from England and carried this idea over to his love affair. The woman, on the other hand, regards her lover as her real "husband". In this respect, she has transferred her ideas of conjugal love to her love for the brother of the legitimate husband.

When her legitimate husband became suspicious, he responded by rejecting his wife. According to the woman, this suspicion had no effect on the relationship with his younger brother. Only the relationship between the woman and the two men distanced themselves. Eventually the brother got married and moved with his wife to a distant town. The woman felt guilty about it. The marriage continued, but the relationship between the spouses remained distant. The husband had apparently accepted his wife's adultery and only reacted by digging deeper into his work, thereby increasing the distance from her. According to Roy, he did this out of love for his brother and a sense of duty to the family.

Some time later, the woman gave birth to a son and threw herself into her role as a mother. The relatives reacted with gossip about the child's paternity, but not by excluding the woman from the family. The unproven breach of the rule was apparently accepted by all parties in one way or another.

This example illustrates one of many alternative courses of action as a possible way of dealing with a rule break. In this case, the family is not broken up, but the conflict has been resolved by restoring the status quo with the husband's brother's marriage and subsequent change of residence. The marital relationship continued. A child was born, confirming at least one function of marriage. However, the gossip about the kinship can be seen as an expression of a hidden distancing of the social group from the couple. Likewise, the husband's distancing from his wife is an expression of a sanction that has probably secured his standing in the social group, at least to some extent.

In the ethnographies I have viewed, this is the only ethnographically documented example of an extramarital love relationship in which at least one person is married to another person. In this case, it is the woman who commits adultery. In this respect, this example is an expression of exactly the situation that is exemplified in the Gitagovinda based on the figures Radha and Krishna. Because of the influence of mythology on the ideas of love within the marital context, one would assume that the ideas of love outside of marriage are similarly influenced by the values ​​conveyed in mythology with regard to extramarital love relationships. In the ethnographic representation of the statements of the woman, as well as their interpretation, there is neither an indication of an identification of the persons with one of the characters, nor is a comparison between the social actions of the persons and the story of Radha's love for Krishna clear or clear drawn by the ethnographer. In no case is there any mention of the kind of passion that the Vaishnava philosophers have prema although the fact that the woman did not break off the love affair despite her self-styled feelings of guilt, suggests passion. But she herself neither describes her love as passionate, nor does she mention a longing for their spatial separation. On the contrary, from the quoted statement of the woman, according to which she regarded her lover as her actual "husband", it is more clear that she tries to understand her love for her husband's brother in the conception of the marital relationship. In this respect, the same moral values ​​and patterns of understanding are used by it that apply to legitimate love in marriage. Only the man's request, mentioned by the woman, to regard him as an equal partner, points to an aspect that contradicts her ideas about the role of marriage. Accordingly, other patterns of understanding could have been used by the man, which could have been influenced by his stay in England and also by the values ​​conveyed in the Krishna Radha story. Unfortunately, however, no statements are documented by him and the statements made by the woman indicate that she does not understand her extramarital love on the basis of ideas that fundamentally contradict those of conjugal love.

The fact that extra-marital love relationships are so rarely mentioned in ethnographies can have various causes. First of all, it could be concluded that the phenomenon is extremely rare. Or it is because the majority of ethnographies focus on the representation and analysis of norm and rule-oriented actions of people. Or is it the people who do not provide any information about such extra-marital love relationships that confront morality and the wishes, longings and ideas that go with them? It cannot be answered here. In any case, it becomes clear that none of the examples refers to ideas that are described in Krishna Radha love. The few examples of ethnographically documented extramarital love relationships do not suggest an orientation towards the conception of prema conveyed values, although the content of the Gitagovinda suggests itself for this at first glance.

"Love marriage" and adultery are also a common theme in Bombay Bollywood films. The films, however, are less about the social legitimation of this form of non-arranged marriage, but rather the films show the negative social consequences such love relationships can have for everyone involved if they run counter to the social norm and the morality established with it. In this respect, the Hindi films popular all over India confirm in most cases socially legitimate love and at least the compulsion to legitimize love relationships.

But the films are one side, the other is that of the love affairs between employees in the film industry. The actors and actresses who embody traditional moral values ​​in their cinematic roles have in many cases extramarital love affairs in their social lives, which the film press and other media report continuously. In her book about women's life in India, Elisabeth Bumiller [12] reports on the actress Smita Patil that she was expecting a baby from the actor Raj Babbar, who was married to another woman at the time. This was not an isolated incident. Other actors also shared their time between two women. On the other hand, no actress is reported to have had two husbands. According to the report, many actors are married to a woman who runs their household like a traditional wife and also have a lover with whom they share acting and other skills. The women usually know about each other and, last but not least, the press ensures the publication of these double relationships between men. Apparently it is the women who, for their marriage or their love for an actor, accept to share this with another woman, while the men naturally "love" two women. Hindu mythology gives them a justification for this, or as the actor Amitabh Bachchan put it:

"Secret love affairs have existed at all times. Most of our gods had two wives." (Bumiller: 249)

Although this statement does not explicitly refer to the Krishna story, it is clear that these and other stories are definitely related by people to their actions.

For most Indians, the everyday life of the Bombay film scene is so far removed from their own social everyday life that the actors and actresses seem like gods. In fact, they are sometimes worshiped as such. The reason for this is certainly more that the actors embody the ideals from mythology in their roles. So it is not surprising that actors compare themselves to gods in terms of their love lives. However, this comparison is by no means unrealistic, even if it seems so at first glance. The actors and actresses knowingly disregard the rules of conjugal love in their actions and justify these actions by referring to mythology. This expresses two things: first, it refers to a history in which there has always been adultery, and second, it refers to the fact that adultery is legitimate among gods. Then why shouldn't it be legitimate for people too? Actors who embody the mythological ideals in their roles basically legitimize their actions in front of themselves and the public through what they themselves represent. In doing so, they skillfully use their special position in society to legitimize actions and emotions that are not morally approved in everyday social life.

Another strategy of justification is reported by the well-known director Mahesh Bhatt. He is said to have converted to Islam before his second wedding in order to obtain legitimation for a second wife, who was his lover at the time, without having to divorce the first. According to his own statements, he wanted to keep both women in his life. How the women thought about it is unfortunately not described. However, it seems that women accept the "double love life" of their husbands and lovers.

Another phenomenon reflects the values ​​of actresses. The actresses do not see their lovers as such, but see them as their husbands. This is illustrated by the fact that many actresses, in order to legitimize illegitimate children of their married lovers at least before their conscience, in imitation of the actress Hema Malini, decided that they were "married" to their lover in the eyes of God. Now, of course, the actresses are aware that this is not legal. Such "legitimizations" have no validity before society. The actresses' need to legitimize their children and thus also their love for men to whom they are legally not married confirms once again the norms of love in marriage. At the same time, it shows that the thinking of those who, due to their economic independence and their elite position in society, could break through these norms and the associated hierarchy of the sexes and situate new values, aligns themselves with the cultural conceptions of marriage and family. Even in the high society of Bombay, women have more to lose than men and are subordinate to their social position. The fact that so many actresses have romantic relationships with married men also shows that, at least in their lives, they want to contradict traditional rules and norms.

The extent to which men hold on to the ideas of gender-specific roles becomes clear in the case of actress Dimple Kapadia. She is reported to have married Rajesh Khanna, the most famous male actor at the time, when she was fifteen. After the marriage, he asked her to give up her career as an actress and become a housewife and mother. She accepted this role. To this extent, even this freely chosen marriage confirms the embedding of love in conventional ideas of marriage and family. However, ten years later, after having two children with him, she left him and returned to film. When Bumiller spoke to her, she was in a relationship with a married actor.

When it comes to the frequency of extra-marital love affairs, the Bollywood scene is certainly not very representative of society as a whole. It should be noted that the actors interpret their extramarital love relationships on the basis of the moral values ​​and conventions of conjugal love.

Accordingly, in all of the examples cited for extra-marital love relationships, such patterns of understanding are used that are also the basis of marital love relationships. This impression can of course also be caused by the ethnographic modes of representation, which may not express contradictions between the ideas of conjugal and extramarital love. Furthermore, this result says nothing about people's fantasies about love. For example, a man interviewed by Derné mentions that true marriage is marriage for love. He says this despite advocating his own arranged marriage. But at the same time he claims that his marriage will never be truly happy because it was arranged. But what does he mean by happiness? Is it perhaps the passion for Krishna in the sense of their Radhas? Statements like this and the fact that love is not only understood in the context of marriage, at least lead to the conclusion that people fantasize about passion and longing as phenomena of love and understand love not only as the complementary fulfillment of gender-specific roles in marriage. In this sense, ideas of love beyond marriage are essential aspects of the emotions of love in everyday social life.


[1] The article is based on my extensive analysis of Hindu love published under the title: Culture of love in India. Passion and devotion in Hindu mythology and the present. LIT publishing house. 2003.

[2] Cf. Dumont 1980 [1966] Homo Hierarchicus: the caste system and its implications. Chicago. P. 109; 114

[3] See De, Sushil Kumar (1961) Early History of the Vaishnava Faith and Movement in Bengal. Calcutta; Dimock, Jr., Edward C. (1966) The Place of the Hidden Moon: Erotic Mysticism in the Vaishnava-Sahajiya Cult of Bengal. Chicago.

[4]Bhakti generally denotes the selfless emotional devotion to God; the worship of God through devotional service to God. Redemption or overcoming the separation between the individual self (atman) and absolute self (brahman) is conceived on this path through the coming together of man and God in love. For the worshiper of God (bhakta) Conversely, in his love for God and his ongoing devotional service to God, God's grace is bestowed so that bhakti includes not only love for God but also love from God for the servant of God. Through this mutual "love relationship" is bhakti a way of salvation that is accessible to all people regardless of caste, wealth and knowledge, since the devotion to God required for this is an ability that is common to all people. (See Küng, Hans and Heinrich v. Stietencron (1995) Christianity and World Religions - Hinduism. Munich)

[5] This kind of bridal mysticism is unique in Hindu philosophy. And it is certainly no coincidence that the development of the Vaishnava philosophy originated historically in the period when Sufi traditions with similar ideas also took hold on the Indian subcontinent. (see also Faruqui, I.H.A. 1990 [1984] Sufism and Bhakti: Maulana Rumi and Sri Ramakrishna. Gladenbach.)

[6] Dasgupta, S.N. 1998 [1927]. Indian mysticism. Adyar. Satteldorf. P. 134.

[7] Tales of such love stories and their moral evaluation are widely used in the media, such as the Hindi films from Bollywood, Asia's largest film industry in Bombay.

[8] Steven M. Parish (1994) Moral Knowing in a Hindu Sacred City. An Exploration of Mind, Emotion, and Self. New York. P. 68f

[9] Published in the ethnography of Steve Derné (1995) Culture in Action. Family Life, Emotion, and Male Dominance in Banaras, India. New York.

[10] Lynn Bennett (1983) Dangerous Wives and Sacred Sisters: Social and Symbolic Roles of High-Caste Women in Nepal. New York; Steve Derné (1995) loc. Cit .; Lindsey Harlan (1992) Religion and Rajput Women. The Ethnics of Protection in Contemporary Narratives. Berkeley; Steven M. Parish (1994) loc. Cit .; Gloria G. Raheja and A. G. Gold (1994) Listen to the Heron's words: Reimaging Gender and Kinship in North India. Berkeley; Manisha Roy (1992 [1972]) Bengali Women. Chicago; Margaret Trawick (1990) Notes on Love in a Tamil Family. Berkeley.

[11] Manisha Roy (1992 [1972]) loc. Cit.

[12] Elisabeth Bumiller (1992) You shall have a hundred sons ...: Women's life in India. Gutenberg.

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