I am just possessive

“I get jealous and possessive quickly! How do I get rid of that? "

When people are jealous and possessive in a relationship, it can't go well in the long run. That is why in the following it should be examined how to get rid of this problem quickly.

What to do to be less jealous and possessive - 3 steps

Often you get lost in your own thoughts and even talking to friends is of little help.

Then you should take a step back and be aware of the next 3 steps for yourself and, above all, be honest with yourself.

1. Make it clear to yourself what jealousy is all about

Jealousy occurs when one party in a relationship starts to become jealous of other people or things or circumstances.

The jealousy itself is therefore to be seen as a kind of mixture of different feelings and emotions.

In such situations, envy, fear, anger, sadness, mistrust, feelings of guilt and many other feelings combine to form a great fusion, which in the end leads to the fact that those affected are inclined to means such as espionage, control or sniffing afterwards. Just to get away from those negative feelings and feel better about yourself.

2. Identify the causes of jealousy and possessiveness

Jealousy can arise with or without reason. If a partner was unfaithful or cheated on, it is understandable that jealousy develops.

Unfounded jealousy about the relationship can be traced back to fear of loss and traumatic events from childhood.

In the course of this, there is also the problem of taking possession: For fear of renewed disappointment, you cling to your partner and want to do everything possible not to lose him. But that is exactly the wrong way!

3. Away from jealousy towards a good relationship

In order to get rid of jealousy, self-reflection is required first. Jealousy is rooted in oneself, which is why one has to look for the causes in oneself.

  • In most cases, the partner has nothing to do with it.
  • It is important to let go of your suspicious thoughts and be ready for a good relationship based on trust.
  • After reflecting on yourself, you need to be more aware that you need to love yourself.

Only when you have found love for yourself can you believe your partner from the bottom of your heart that he loves you. Again, there is no need to be jealous or possessive.

In conclusion, it is important to create a healthy relationship. It is important to find a good balance between partnership and independence. You should take good care of the relationship, but at the same time do things on your own and pursue your own hobbies.

All in all, it is important to find yourself and to rediscover the lost basic trust.

What's the problem with a possessive personality?

In the beginning it can even be pleasant to get so much attention and just let yourself be drawn into the other's world.

Owning personalities are often very charismatic and willing to give a lot, especially in the early days.

  1. The first phase of being in love should be exactly the same and as much as possible should be done together, even friends will understand that they have to wait in line first.
  2. After these first days or weeks, however, possessive personalities with their negative sides emerge. You want to control, "do everything right" and keep the dream world going.
  3. As soon as you try to create a little space for yourself, they react hurt or defiant because they see it as a lack of appreciation. In this case you should pay close attention, because either you make your point of view clear or you will have the same discussions over and over again and feel constricted.

Owning personalities have a very unhealthy relationship with love and trust. They are so afraid that all their efforts could be in vain and they could neither lose the most important people, that they tend to control addiction and power struggles to get their needs through in any case.

If you see yourself as possessive and jealous, now is the time to devote yourself intensively to these topics if you want a harmonious, loving and happy relationship.

It is impossible to face the love of your life with compulsions, fear and controlling behavior without things going bad for both of you.


Being possessive and jealous always has something to do with a deep fear. Those who are very possessive also tend to be addicted to control and often people hardly notice how they are behaving themselves. Especially people who have experienced little love in their childhood have a strong tendency to protect this love with all means, even if they achieve exactly the opposite through their jealous and possessive behavior.

You have to be very sensitive with such people and get them to reflect on their own behavior, to understand what exactly drives them to react and where these deep fears come from. It is also important to speak without reproach in order to prevent the whole situation from degenerating.

Another point is to set clear boundaries and to adhere to them in order to maintain self-respect. Everyone should be allowed to express their wishes and needs freely, this is the only way a harmonious relationship is possible and that should be the goal of both to love and respect each other so much that both can rely on each other and develop freely without being judged become.

Frequently asked questions

Why am I so possessive, even though I know exactly how badly this is damaging my relationship?

There is a huge difference between what is logical and how you feel. Most of the time, the feelings and emotions take control and even prevent your logical thinking.

Your feelings lead to the thoughts you have every day and if you have negative thoughts and fears about them most of the time, it is clear that you are reacting jealously and possessively.

The fear of losing something is one of the most powerful you can have and only if you become aware of this fear and face yourself will the fears disappear in the long term. It is a process that requires perseverance and honesty with yourself.

My friend is jealous and possessive, how do I make him realize I don't want this?

An open conversation in which you are very clear about your feelings on the subject. The longer you wait with it, the harder it will be for him to change his behavior. So you are doing yourself and your relationship a big favor if you take your courage and make it clear to him without being reproachful that you need a certain freedom to feel good and that this is the only way your love for one another can continue to grow.

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