Metastatic cancer is always fatal
I try to design and enjoy every day
My first question after the operation was: How long do I have left to live? I immediately shot in the head: Cancer is fatal. Now I think about death. I don't think dying is as bad as suffering for a long time. I took part in a seminar on the subject of dying, which was very good for me. That was downright relieving. I'm not that young anymore either. I have had a beautiful life and have been able to experience a lot and see a lot of the world. My greatest concern is that I will be in severe pain and have to suffer for months. I think if God wants to get me, he'll get me.
After the initial diagnosis, I took care of various things immediately. Also so that my son can act when I'm no longer there. What is very important to me.
Breast cancer is a very individual and difficult to predict disease. It's hard to give any general advice. I think it's very important to have confidence in your doctor. That you feel that you are in good hands, that you get the relevant information and that things can be explained to you. Usually nothing needs to be decided immediately. You can and may first withdraw and think about it and then decide for yourself what to do.
At the time I was very unsure because the doctors sometimes contradicted each other: One wanted to treat this way, the other differently. I was then no longer sure whether they were telling me the truth. The doctor in helped me a lot during this time. She smiled at me and said, “Of course, we can do something.” She gave me hope again. I know breast cancer is no longer curable and I am chronically ill now. But you can live with it. At the moment I have no problems. If it stays that way for many years to come, then I would be very grateful.
It's an unpredictable disease. But right now it looks like I have a long time to go in this world. I try to design and enjoy every day as I can.
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